We live on regardless.

Forever in my mind, only you that the pieces in my life go to you. You were my first love, my only love. But life doesn’t have to be like that, it doesn’t need to revolve around you, the memories, the pain, my happiness; I’m a different person now. I am me, I love the way I can, and I stay committed. I’m sorry what happened, I wanted to go away with you, I wanted only you. But it wasn’t meant to be. You’re in a better place, you’re off doing everything you can possible dream of. I need to move on, I need you to stop haunting my dreams. I need you to be gone from my life now. I’m tired of the pain, the nostalgic memories I had with you, I’m done. You were taken away from me by natural causes. You were sick but there wasn’t anything we could of done. I stayed with you till the end, yet you still want more from me. How can I give more when you’re not in the same plane as I am. I loved you, and I always will. But you can’t stay in my life anymore because I want to be happy. I want to find that perfect girl who was meant for me. I want to grow old with her, create new memories and cherish every living breath she has. I want to marry her and have a family, a very big one I must add. I want to be happy, but you’re not letting me.

Communication. This is such a strong topic that is lightly taken by everyone. It brings together those who have different perspective, views, etc. We need to speak what is on our minds regardless in order for those to actually understand what we feel. Without it be assume which leads to broken trust. We complain about the trust between on another, maybe it’s the small things or even the big things. At the end after all that happens, we don’t entirely know why. I mean what can really happen if we all just communicate to one another. It will save so much grief and heartache. Just open up and see what really happens.

Not sure what to do.

I have an offer to move to another country for a job I am really good at. But the thing is.. I have to leave everyone here behind and pretty much start a new life there. My family is all aboard with it, but I haven’t told my friends nor my best friend. I don’t know what to do. Should I?

I’m not perfect you see. I have flaws just like every other human being out there. Sometimes I don’t think before I speak and I blatantly say something completely absurd. Like I said before I’m not perfect. I don’t think sometimes and I feel like I shouldn’t be treated so harshly about it. I thought about it, I listened to what I said; and yes I know it was dumb for me to say that. I don’t want to make excuses nor am I denying what I did was right, but honestly we had history. 

I never knew how hard it would be to sit here in this family party. I’ve honestly lost it. Lost the will to be here, lost the will to be happy here. What happened to me. To the person I use to be. Happiness has became harder to obtain and sustain.

So many questions cross my mind whenever I think about you.

• Would I ever see you again?
• Would I ever be better than how you saw me?
  
• Would I ever fall in love again?
  

But here I think about “Would I” when in reality I must tell myself

• I will see you again.
  
• I will be better than how you saw me.
  
• I will fall in love again.
  

Life doesn’t throw obstacles for nothing, they develop a better me because there is nothing but to grow into a better person. 

You hear the yelling…. the screaming coming from upstairs and you have not yet to wonder why are they. It isn’t late but the fact that this happens on a everyday basis. It becomes burdening and hopeless because all you can think ‘why?’ I could of been the reason… or maybe one of my sisters. But to know that there are issues that are being conjured up, it’s heartbreaking. All I want is for them to stop. All I want is to be a family again. To maybe even be happy with each other. But with the time passing, age comes with issues I guess. Some people may be able to overcome these but others… well not so much.

Life catches up to you when you realize you disappointed someone you love.

722pm:

Why you?

Here’s a little secret:

There isn’t one.

• It doesn’t matter what size you are

• It doesn’t matter what color you are

• It doesn’t matter how tall you are

I adore you because I do.

Why you?

Here’s a little secret:

There isn’t one.

• It doesn’t matter what size you are

• It doesn’t matter what color you are

• It doesn’t matter how tall you are

I adore you because I do.

We all have monsters inside of us. All it takes is a single reason to let it take control.